Welcome to T F N C

TFNC - We promise not to use any of your information for anything (apart from TFNC stuff).

Further to this we can absolutely guarantee that there is no way any one involved with this site will exploit you in any way that will not make you laugh, smile or at least chuckle slightly on your way to work.

If you do not at any time gain complete satisfaction from your time partaking in the experience of this site, then all you have to do is place all the photons you have received from us into an envelope and address it to the United Nations with a full list of the failings attached.

We further promise that no electrons were more than slightly 'put out' by your or our involvement in this experiment into the search for fulfilment into life the universe and equality.

We can also extend the offer of sending Eric out to you to help explain why you have benefited by your co-existence with TFNC experience. However we can not offer any help towards the resulting psychiatric bills you may (or may not) have to pay for, and we may also have to charge you for travel time and accommodation for Eric's time, if you live more than 15 minutes from the Cotswolds, and take more than 30 minutes to get bored of his explanation.

Also we have designed all the pages on this site to naturally decompose within 0.25 of you turning off you computer. Any residual effect on your retinas can be slowly massaged away by the subtle application of either, humour, family loving, orally administered alcohol (not in excess of 10% proof and no more that 1 litre (1.7 pints) & not for under 18s(UK) or 21s(US) or what ever your country, creed or blood type will allow))))))) (got lost with brackets there so used a few extra to make sure I closed properly) or joining the foreign legion. The later is only advised for really hard *******.

Should a rash appear at any time whilst enjoying TFNC then you are simply doing it wrong. Please switch off and try again. If the problem still exists then you may need to switch off and emigrate to Mars. (once only)

If you are under 16 or currently on medication then we strongly advise that you do NOT tell your parents that you have view this site. This is not due to content but because we feel you may not do us justice.

Finally a word from our sponsors:

' 5.00 Pounds - OMG - we were robbed!!'

Thank you all and may your gods go with you (or not if that is your want).